here at the end of all things

you count the grains of sand on the beach
you say hey
come over here and count these grains
look real hard
and tell me if there are 728521 grains
or
728522 grains in this jar of sand
and i will look real hard and
study with my big fat brain
and finally
i will come to the conclusion
but you keep counting with
no conclusion in sight and
simply say
look
now that i
have done all this counting
(see what good counting
i have done) and
look
i have counted even more than
this simple jar of sand
but have counted the whole beach
from whence it came
and now i (truly!) know
that there are exactly
bighugelargenumber grains
of sand here
and i will say
wow
that is so interesting you now know
that the beach upon which we tread has exactly
bighugelargenumber grains of sand
on it
or
in it
or
whatever
and you thrust your hands upon your
hips and embolden your chest with this
mighty newfound knowledge welling up
in your big fat brain and say
look at everything we’ve accomplished
here at the end of all things
and i will say
wow
that is so interesting because
we now know this bighugelargenumber
but what does that mean
(what i mean to say is)
how does this help us
it is just another number
like two or five
and you say
well this means that
we know something
and i say
what do we know
we can no better explain ourselves
and have found no better scapegoat for our
actions and behavior and personality
(and the psychological quagmire
that we all bought stock in)
it just makes me sick with anger
that we can be butchered into little tests
and questions
and ass-tro-logical signs that say
hey this is how you are and
how you think
but you’re not really thinking
and
as i’m begging for
some
slight iota of
significance
from these
scientists
and
men of reason
all i hear is the sound of their
croaking honda civic engines
igniting gasoline
creating a spark
pumping pistons
all the way to the next beach
at the end of all things
where they’re getting out their
brand new shiny abacuses
and state-of-the-art magnifying glasses
as they begin their game again.