perhaps a greater character

tell me
something from your
dark and twisted past.

not sure if you’re ready for that.

i have a darkness.

do tell.

let’s just say
traumatic events seem to be
drawn to me and i just have
a tough time ignoring these as
signs of perhaps a greater
character flaw.

and this is the source
of your dark feelings.

scary stupid tormented
ones.

couldn’t be scarier than mine.

do tell.

let’s just say
as much as i hate to think
of being so afraid
so inhabited by terror that
the idea of ending beckons
like beautiful wonderful rest
i (breath.) can’t say there won’t be a day

when it won’t seem so bad.

right. but then
this is all a foolish conversation.

and why is that.

well
who said i was ever supposed
to be happy. (inhale.) or successful.
i’m just a very lucky
wholly arbitrary
zygotic rendezvous
searching for significance
reminding myself to savor
every last delicious breath
coming off your lips.

i think that’s your darkness.
that purposelessness.

powerlessness. purely and
irreconcilably lost.

then i guess I’m a fool
asking if this – my lips and all –
matter to you.

if there’s anything
i can believe in.
(inhale.)
(kiss.)
(sleep.)